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8 Things Gay Guys Should Start Saying to Each Other (More Often)

Guys, we deserve better. We deserve to treat ourselves and each other with more kindness. More love. There are so many gay men who treat other gay men with love and respect. I definitely want to acknowledge that.

But we, as individual gay men, can make our lives and lives of other gay men even richer, pleasant, and vibrant by choosing our words wisely and speaking from the heart. Here are 8 things I’d love to see gay men say more often to one another:

1. I’M PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE.

Seriously. I’m not just proud of what you DO. I know you’ll always do great things. But I’m genuinely proud of who you are as a person. The way you run your life. The way you treat others. How you show up in the world. Even if your plans don’t turn out the way you wanted them to (or if they do), I love you just the same.

2. COME JOIN US.

Whether you’re at a party, the bar, or in a casual group gathering. If you see a guy standing alone, invite him over. Include him in the group. You felt alone in a room at one time or another in your life. Take it upon yourself to be inviting.

3. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE?

Anything and everything. A gorgeous car. A cuddly boyfriend. An even cuddlier dog. A trip overseas. What do you REALLY want out of life?! It’s so interesting to hear what people say. It might be a little awkward the first time you ask another gay guy, but go with it. Plus, “what do you do?” is such a lame question.

4. HOW CAN I BE A BETTER FRIEND?

I don’t know if I’ve ever said this to a friend. Perhaps in a different way. Maybe it was just long ago. But this can strengthen a friendship like none other. We’re usually there for our friends in good times and bad, but are where there in the way our friends need us? That’s pretty important information to have.

5. I’M A STRONG PERSON, BUT I’M HURTING RIGHT NOW.

Like, really hurting. That breakup was devastating. I’ve cried at least three times since yesterday. Or I haven’t cried at all because I feel completely numb. I just found out my mom has cancer and I really don’t know what to do or say. I just need someone here for me. A strong person, in fact, can tell another person that they’re hurting. We need to lean on each other more.

6. I’M AFRAID OF OPENING UP.

It’s scary. It can feel risky. Vulnerability isn’t easy. And it’s bullshit that most gay men think that just because we’re gay, it’s easier for us to open up. It’s not. It’s time to throw open that other closet door. The door to vulnerability. Admitting that opening up scares us is the first step to having stronger, more authentic friendships.

7. CAN YOU GET OFF YOUR PHONE?!

I’m so guilty of being on my cell phone too often around my friends. I swear I’m getting better at putting it down or away! Don’t be afraid to call out a friend whose nose is in the phone and not in the conversation. Friends deserve more than multitasking.

8. ANYTHING POSITIVE OR ENCOURAGING.

I know, we all have our snarky defense mechanisms — we’re human, after all! But can we let go of negativity toward ourselves and each other? Many gay guys I know are full of positive energy. Let’s spread that energy around — the bars, the beaches, and beyond. It’s infectious.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? WHAT COULD WE AS GAY GUYS SAY TO EACH OTHER MORE OFTEN?

Photo credit: Craig Cochran

Via: Medium.com

57 THINGS I’VE LEARNED ABOUT BEING GAY IN MY 20S

gay boy lessons modern gay

They say that it’s in your 20s when you really learn who you are and who you want to be. While I don’t know yet if thats true, I’ve certainly learned a lot about myself, about other people and what it means to be a gay 20-something.

Here’s a list of 57 things I’ve learned (so far) about being gay in my 20s:

  1. Sex is not like it is in porn
  2. You don’t need to go to every gay dance party just because it’s a long weekend
  3. Sleeping with someone because you’re lonely won’t make you feel less lonely
  4. You will never find love when you’re desperate to be loved
  5. You can’t make people like you
  6. The best relationships start with someone being brave enough to say hello
  7. The more time you spend at the gym, the less content you will be with your body
  8. You’re happier when you’re eating carbs
  9. Brains, ambition, confidence and a sense of humour are harder to find than abs, biceps and a big chest
  10. Messaging your ex-boyfriend when you’re drunk on Saturday night is not a good idea
  11. Sundays are more fun when you’re not hung-over
  12. Devoting time to do charity will make you happier than only devoting time to yourself
  13. Gratitude is the key to happiness
  14. Don’t compare yourself to others
  15. You are not a real housewife of NYC or Beverly Hills or Orange County
  16. Everyone is just as confused as you are
  17. The people who you think have their shit together are often the most messed up
  18. The number of selfies you take is inversely proportianate to how good you feel about yourself
  19. “Liking” something on Instagram will never replace a compliment delivered in person
  20. The less time you spend on social media the happier you will be
  21. You don’t need to take your shirt off every time you’re in a place with more than 10 gays
  22. FOMO fades overtime when you realize that there’s not really much to miss out on
  23. Enjoy the moment
  24. Having a photographer take your picture does not a model make
  25. Wear what you want
  26. It’s better to be disliked for being yourself than to be liked for trying to be someone else
  27. You don’t have to have your life in order by 27
  28. Use your head and heart as often as you use your penis
  29. It’s best to leave some things to the imagination
  30. The most intriguing people are the ones you know the least about
  31. Happy couples aren’t always happy
  32. Not everything needs to be shared on social media
  33. Get over your slutty phase as soon as possible before you develop a reputation
  34. Sometimes mornings alone with Sean Cody are better than mornings in bed with some random
  35. Sleeping with straight boys is like drinking tequila, it seems like a fun idea at the time but you’ll regret it in the morning
  36. You may think you fell in love in Mykonos but it won’t last when you both go home
  37. Always wear a condom
  38. Your heart will be broken but it will eventually mend
  39. Don’t place your self worth in other people’s hands
  40. If you can’t find any gay role models, try to become one
  41. Surround yourself with people who inspire you
  42. It’s never too late to start
  43. Be careful who you send nude pictures to
  44. Snapchats can be saved
  45. You might make new friends but the best ones are those who have been there the whole time
  46. The guys you party with don’t necessarily have your best interests at heart
  47. If you’re feeling down, talk to someone, chances are they’ve felt the same way
  48. You can sit with us
  49. You don’t need to shave your chest hair
  50. Just because you love Gaga and Britney doesn’t mean you can’t listen to The Hives
  51. It may be in fashion but it doesn’t mean it’s going to suit you
  52. Bleaching your hair was a bad idea
  53. Plan for where you want to be in 10 years
  54. There’s more to you than your sexuality
  55. You are not better than anyone else
  56. Be kind to others
  57. There’s still so much you don’t know.

Via: The Modern Gay

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